So....that's a burger, eh?

Sandwich MondayThursday: The Poutine Burger

I was directed some time ago to this article by a couple of my good friends from college. Needless to say, the moment I saw what it was, I had a mission. To recreate this glorious lovechild of America and Canada, the fusion of freedom and maple syrup, the poutine burger

So what exactly is a poutine burger you ask? It's exactly what it claims to be. A burger with poutine on it. What's poutine you ask? Educatify thyself my poor deprived friend. All set? Did you check every link? No? Go back, your experience is not yet complete. Done? Good. 

CW: Like a true redblooded American, this burger is big, loud, and deadly.

CW: The Canadian in it is probably apologizing.

CW: The thing with attempting to consume something with this much latent power, is that it is invariably going to result in some major damage.

CW: Each fallen fry in this photo represents one additional year I have to live. But there's no helping it. You're going to eat every last one anyways. If you're lucky, you might still have a few years left by the time you're done. Maybe

CW: It is a little known fact that the beef in poutine burgers is prepared in a very special manner. First, a moose is brought in to grind the meat. Then, a team of specially trained beavers slap the patty together. Finally, a majestic eagle flies the burger to the waiting grill. The grill itself gets specially treated too. Instead of lighter fluid, gunpowder from 50 shotgun shells is lit to ignite the coals. In the absence of shotgun shells, fireworks may be used as a substitute. Only the best will suffice.

CW: Adults 12 years of age or older: Take 1 poutine burger every 24 hours while cravings exist. If hunger is unaffected by poutine burger intake, a second burger may be procured. Do not exceed 4 poutine burgers within a 1 week period. If symptoms persist, consult the cook. Not for children 6 and under. Do not operate vehicles or heavy machinery while under the influence of poutine. Side effects may include drowsiness, lethargy, temporary paralysis, and a sudden desire to watch baseball with a nice cold glass of maple syrup.

[final word: Poutine burgers were promised. Poutine burgers were created]

.zip Recipes 2: Chicken Bake

Sometimes, you just don't want to stand at the stove, watching your food cook. You have stuff to do, man! This .zip recipe requires next to no preparation, and only uses 1 baking dish, leaving you free to do all the other things you've got planned while it cooks in the oven.

-=.zip Recipes 2: Chicken Bake=-

2 Chicken Thighs

1 head of broccoli

1 yellow onion

salt

pepper

olive oil

sesame oil

optional: fried garlic (find it at an Asian market)

Preheat an oven to 350. Pour some olive oil into a 9x9 baking dish, and let it coat the bottom evenly. Place chicken thighs in pan. Loosely chop onion and broccoli and place around chicken. Add salt and pepper over all items, then drizzle some sesame oil over the chicken. Sprinkle fried garlic if desired. Bake for 30-45 minutes. Enjoy!

Cookbook?

It has recently come to my attention that it is in fact possible to publish a book on the cheap. Or at least, cheap enough to possibly fall within my budget. Those of you who have followed this blog and seen my facebook pics know that over the years, I've whipped up a recipe or two. It was always my intention that, once I had created a reasonable quantity of recipes, that I would then write a cookbook of my own, targeted towards college students, single parents, anyone on a tight budget and for whom time can be a rare commodity.

I have yet to figure out the details, but it's a safe bet that you can expect at least 15 recipes with full color photos, with anywhere between 10 and 30 additional recipes without images (this blog alone already has nearly 30 recipes, although not all will make it into the book). At the moment, I'm considering a price point at somewhere between $15-$25, depending on various parameters, such as book length, # of color pages, etc.

So, my question is this. Were I to get a cookbook printed, would you buy it, and how much would you be willing to spend?

Pagoda Pie

When it comes to home-y food, nothing quite says rustic like a Shepard's Pie. This is a somewhat upscaled version, with many more layers and a bit of an Asian flair.

-=Pagoda Pie=-

1/3 lb pork sausage

1/4 lb irish soda bread

6 button mushrooms

4 Tbsp maple syrup

2 Tbsp chili garlic sauce

1 carrot, cut into matchsticks

1 cup broccoli, chopped

1 cup green beans, cut/trimmed

3 Tbsp sesame seeds

2-4 Tbsp soy sauce

1 Tbsp sesame oil

2 potatoes

milk

butter

Break the soda bread into small chunks, or even finer into breadcrumbs if desired. In a skillet, fry the sausage in a little oil, along with the mushrooms, soda bread, chili garlic sauce, and maple syrup, until cooked through. Place in a 9x9 baking dish. Stir fry the carrot, broccoli, and green beans with the sesame seeds, soy sauce, and sesame oil until vegetables are tender but still firm. Layer on top of the meat. Boil and mash the potatoes, adding milk and butter as desired (I used about 1/2 cup and 1/4 cup respectively). Layer potatoes on the top. Bake for 30 mins - 1 hour, at 325 degrees.

The Dessert That Was On Fire

No hunger games here, just a delicious dessert served flaming. I came up with this recipe as part of this year's annual inter- Co-op Iron Chef competition, earning the second highest score of all the dishes prepared. It's a cool and refreshing avocado and corn ice cream, paired with a fiery lime and cayenne syrup. The following recipe has two variants; one is standard, made with dairy, the other is vegan, with soy substitutes. May the odds be always in your favor (and delicious).

-=Avocado Ice Cream=-

-Ice Cream-

1 avocado

1/2 cup frozen corn

1/4 cup vanilla yogurt [OR] 4 oz silken tofu + 1/4 cup soy milk

2 Tbsp sugar

lime juice

In a bowl, mash the avocado until smooth. In a blender or food processor, lightly pulse the corn until shredded but not liquified. Add the yogurt and sugar and mix thoroughly.

VEGAN OPTION: replace the yogurt with 4 oz silken tofu, 1/4 cup soy milk, and an additional 2 Tbsp sugar.

Add 1-2 tsp lime juice (or the juice from half a fresh lime). Mix together and let chill in the freezer for 30 minutes.

-Syrup-

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

lime juice

In a small saucepot, heat the water and sugar together until dissolved. Add the pepper and 2 tsp lime juice and let simmer on low heat to thicken the syrup to desired consistency.

Spoon ice cream into empty half shell, with syrup on the side. Pour liquor over the ice cream (apple schnapps or 151 rum work well) and ignite with a lighter. Serve while flaming.

Nothing like a little Southern Comfort

Comfort food that is. Although SoCo is pretty delicious too. Anyways, I've got a double recipe for y'alls today (Double recipe? What does it meaaaaaan????), both of which are partly inspired by Southern style cooking. We're talking hearty meals that satisfy body and soul. Just like momma used to make. Mmmhmm.

-=Pork Two Ways Harvest Soup=-

1/2 lb ground pork

3 strips thick cut farm raised bacon (or substitute 1/2 lb regular bacon), chopped

2 large sweet potatoes, cubed

1 onion, chopped

1 cup corn kernels

1 cup green beans

garlic salt, pepper, oregano, parsley, crushed red pepper flakes

1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup

6 cups water

In a large soup pot, bring the water to a boil and start cooking the sweet potatoes and onions, about 10 minutes, then turn down to a low simmer. Heat a medium skillet on high. Cook the bacon until it starts to get crispy, but not too crunchy. When done, add the bacon to the pot, but reserve the bacon grease to cook the ground pork. Add garlic salt, pepper, oregano, parsley, and red pepper flakes to the pork to taste. When the ground pork is fully cooked through, add that to the pot. If you really want, you can strain out the fat, but I recommend keeping it; it adds a lot of flavor. Finally, add in the corn, green beans, and condensed soup, and stir until even. Let simmer another 5 to 10 minutes, serve hot.

-=Reds n Greens=-

1/2 lb ham, cubed

2 strips thick cut farm raised bacon (or substitute 1/3 lb regular bacon), chopped 

1/2 lb collard greens

garlic salt

This one's real simple. Heat a large skillet on high and start cooking down the collard greens with a little garlic salt and the bacon. When those are done (the greens should have shrunken down quite a bit, and be a bit crisp), add the ham, and toss together on medium heat for a few minutes more. Done! You can add a can of cooked black eyed peas with some milk and corn starch to add a creamy sauce as well; I would have, but I didn't have any on hand.

Epic Meatloaf

So, it was 11, and I felt hungry, and decided to cook something. And then it just sorta...snowballed into this. Feel free to substitute out some of the more obscure ingredients. Seriously though, it's delicious, and those obscure items are worth getting. Trust me.

-Meatloaf-
3 Italian Sausages, removed from casing
2 cups spinach, diced
1 slice potato bread
rosemary
fennel seed
garlic salt
truffle oil
Parmesan cheese
smoked oysters
2 tbsp milk

Preheat oven to 350. Chop up the bread into small pieces. In a small skillet, heat up some olive oil on high, and toss in the bread for toasting. Add 1 tsp rosemary, 1 tsp fennel seed, and garlic salt to taste. Drizzle a little truffle oil, ~ 1/2 tsp, over the bread crumbs. Toast until crispy and set aside.

Combine sausage, spinach, and bread crumbs in a mixing bowl. Add 1/2 cup Parmesan, and about 6 oysters, chopped. Add the milk, and another drizzle of truffle oil.  Press the meatloaf together, transfer into a baking dish, and place in oven for 10-15 minutes.

-Sauce-
1 cup Puttanesca sauce
1-2 ounces gin
6 cloves garlic, minced

In a small saucepot, toast the garlic with some oil. Add the puttanesca sauce and the gin, and simmer on low heat. When the meatloaf has cooked for 10-15 minutes, and the outer surface is starting to brown, pour the sauce over the meatloaf in the baking dish. Continue cooking for another 15 minutes or until meat is cooked through.